Sunday, May 5, 2013

Experiencing a Panic Attack: A Poem

Panic Attack

I can hear my heart pumping like a knock
on the door before someone else knocks down
the door I’m waiting to open and I cannot
open but need to open. I’m breathing steady
but only because I’m trying to breathe steady
and even though the breath is coming in it’s like
the breath isn’t coming and there’s a vacuum
building in my lungs and if I don’t breathe harder
the vacuum will build and destroy my lungs
and my lungs won’t breathe to my body and
my body will collapse and I won’t be able to open
the door that someone’s knocking at but they’re not
really knocking that’s my heart that’s knocking that
I can’t keep from knocking and

Now the world is spinning and I don’t want it to be
spinning I want it to stay still so I can keep them
from knocking trying to wake me up but I’m not
asleep I’m awake can’t you see I’m awake and I’m
trying to answer can’t you see me try to answer
but no you just see me breathing and you don’t like
my breathing and you’re trying to stop my breathing
but the vacuum is taking over and the vacuum
needs feeding and I’m feeding the vacuum can’t
you let me feed the vacuum but there is no vacuum
why do I think there’s a vacuum make the vacuum go
away and leave me be so I can answer this knocking
the real knocking the people knocking on the door
needing an answer that I need to give them now now now now now now

No comments:

Post a Comment